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I'm mo, I'm in my 30s, I'm from the US midwest but have spent more of my adult life outside the US than in it. 

I write fic as it occurs to me so this keeps things more-or-less organized. AO3 posts are better tagged, for trigger warning or other purposes, but the silliest stuff doesn't make it over there. I'm also on Tumblr and LiveJournal.

Leverage
The Breakout Job (AO3) Parker helps a friend of Josie's (remember Josie the baby car thief?) to break out of a "camp for troubled youths"

Star Wars
You do it better (AO3)
Rey on Jakku (DW)
Living is harder (AO3) Rey, post-The Force Awakens, culture shock.
Plant Assembly Procedures (AO3) Rey learns how plants work

Hunger Games
Surely these are the last days
The Rebellion from Below: A series of n+1 stories about the rebellion as told by its less-glamorous instigators (D9 and D6 focused). Stay tuned, if you're interested. (AO3 series)
Tractors turning the multiple furrows in the vacant land The beginnings
The line between hunger and anger No turning back now.

Smiles and Promises
Rokia, an OC victor from District Six (AO3 series)

Click for links (some of this is not on AO3) )

Please feel free to take this personally
Johanna (who I headcannon as winning the 66th Games, movie tie-ins aside), her friendship with Finnick (bffs, not sexy), and them getting involved in the Rebellion. On AO3 here

Ain't nothing but a family thing
Stories from District Four (Finnick/Annie) On AO3 here
Non-AO3 scribbles:
Finnick's backstory Meta.
Peeta visits District Four Postwar, prompt-fic


I also ramble periodically about my Panem headcanons. I try to tag these posts absurd logistics of Panem (because the more you think about it, the crazier this fictional dystopia really is)

On trigger warnings: I do a pretty good job (i hope!) of tagging the things that're on AO3. Stuff that's only here/LJ I tend not to tag specific trigger warnings, although for stories that I think are particularly in need of such, there are usually warnings in the intros. If you're wondering if something is going to bother you (trigger-wise or anything else-wise), please feel free to message me to ask.
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Walking is still honest (11408 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Original Characters
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, postwar aftermath
Series: Part 5 of We thought we lost you (Welcome back)
Summary:

The fighting is over, but the war is far from finished. The rebuilding is a battle in itself, and reconstructing families and friendships is harder than replacing a bridge. Sara didn't fight in a war to let the peace afterwards fall apart, so she does everything she can to build the family she wants to be part of.

--

Another AO3 crosspost of stuff from here, for easier reference. 

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Proof that the spirit has not died: Chapter 5 (31942 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, District 9 (Hunger Games), District 6, Normal people make the rebellion happen, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence
Series: Part 3 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Summary:

"If the step were not being taken, if the stumbling-forward ache were not alive, the bombs would not fall, the throats would not be cut. For every bomb is proof that the spirit has not died."
--The Grapes of Wrath

The die is cast, the spark set, the flame growing. Zea finds herself swept up in a world she never dreamed of; Sara has been dreaming of setting this fire for years. What can a few people do against the Capitol? Much more than they ever expected.


--

The first half of this is called "Sara's terrible plan" in my Scrivener file. So, y'know, Alister is enjoying himself




Chapter 5: All twisted metal stretching upwards )
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Start taking back what they stole (13849 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 3/4
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier, Wiress (Hunger Games), Plutarch Heavensbee, Original Characters, Paylor (Hunger Games)
Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, references to forced prostitution, canon-typical horribleness, Quarter Quell, 75th Hunger Games, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, War Crimes
Series: Part 12 of Smiles and Promises, Part 5 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Summary:

Everything still feels unreal and faraway. Rokia can't make it register, all of what's about to happen, and she doesn't really think she wants to. That much… it might drown her if she tries to think about it all at once. Better to break it down, one day, one job, one moment at a time. She heads for the back of the train to watch the District disappear behind her.

The Rebellion is starting, the world is changing, and Rokia is caught up in the whirlwind.




Chapter 3: District 13 )
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Rebuilding what can't be repaired (13742 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Brutus (Hunger Games), Original Characters
Additional Tags: Found Family, being family is hard, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, District 2, District 6
Series: Part 4 of We thought we lost you (Welcome back)
Summary:

Rokia's sisters come to live in District Two--but not with her. She left, and they survived, but there's no going back to who they were before. Heidi and Marc never thought they'd have more kids, but two lost little girls need a home, and their not-so-little sister needs a family.

Another AO3 crosspost of postwar Rokia-in-Two fic, this time Rokia's sisters going to live with Brutus' parents. 

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seedlings search for light (1952 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Eleven (Stranger Things), Martin Brenner
Additional Tags: Child Abuse, Animal Death, Backstory
Summary:

Eleven always knew what she was for.

A game, a test, a toy, a tool, a child, a weapon.
 


If Eleven doesn't get to be adopted and safe in season two I am going to be very upset )
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Start taking back what they stole (9108 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 2/4
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier, Wiress (Hunger Games), Plutarch Heavensbee, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, references to forced prostitution, canon-typical horribleness, Quarter Quell, 75th Hunger Games, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Series: Part 12 of Smiles and Promises, Part 5 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Summary:
Everything still feels unreal and faraway. Rokia can't make it register, all of what's about to happen, and she doesn't really think she wants to. That much… it might drown her if she tries to think about it all at once. Better to break it down, one day, one job, one moment at a time. She heads for the back of the train to watch the District disappear behind her.

The Rebellion is starting, the world is changing, and Rokia is caught up in the whirlwind.

Chapter 2: District 8 )

camping.

Oct. 8th, 2017 01:28 pm
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I'm going camping with [livejournal.com profile] lorata today.

The last time I went camping was on a road trip from a friend's wedding the UP down to my place in Lansing, with the asshole ex boyfriend, the summer after I finished my MSc, before I started my PhD.

cut for asshole ex-boyfriend being a big jerk )
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It may seem like everything is terrible a lot of the time, BUT: 

I was just in a sold out venue with hundreds of people SCREAMING along to True Trans Soul Rebel, and Against Me! played all my favorite songs and I found a corner to stand in where I could claim some personal space and also see really well, and every time I thought about the asshole ex-boyfriend I took my therapist’s advice and went “hey, how great is it that he’s not here and I don’t have to worry about keeping track of him or the inevitable temper tantrums when something doesn’t go the way he wants!” (so great. so fucking great.) I went by myself and i didn’t talk to anybody and i may now be losing my voice from yell-singing along and before one song Laura Jane Grace went “this is for everybody who doesn’t feel at home in their own skin and feels alienated from the world, because i feel like that 99% of the time, and the 1% where i don’t is up here on stage, so I wanna share that with you guys.” I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE’S SO GREAT.

I walked out grinning. I haven’t been that genuinely just HAPPY in a really, really long time.

Tags:reclaiming the things I love, because they are mine goddammit, maybe tomorrow i will make a playlist of my favorite am! songs, they're so good you guys, mo liveblogs random shit, crosspost
Tumblr post (if anything looks weird try over there)
sebenikela: (Default)
1. This is a thing that exists:


2. @lorata gets “The Sword of Moss and Rain” and:


3. Four double-sided pages of notes on a story in which magic is women’s work and wars are fought with steel (by men), until something something invasion, all weapons confiscated, woman magic-user creates a sword out of water, strategery, gender shenanigans, overthrow the government, HOORAY!


Which would all be cool except…

4. I will probably never actually write it.

and also

5. I have like 4 WIPs and a thesis I need to write first.
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I think that it's best if we both stay (5985 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon


Jake doesn’t remember a lot about the hospital in Two, but right now he wishes he remembered a little less.

Or that there was any chance whatsoever that he was delusional right now.

But no, he apparently used up his entire lifetime’s worth of luck not getting killed in the cave-in, because the doctor who comes into the room is definitely the same doctor he tried to flirt with in Two, and he’s definitely at least as hot as Jake remembered, and there is definitely no way to look cool to someone who’s here to examine the scarred mess of what’s left of his leg.

Click for more silly tropey goodness )
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Based on this test and associated descriptions

Sara: ESTP “Entrepreneur”

ESTPs are the likeliest personality type to make a lifestyle of risky behavior. They live in the moment and dive into the action – they are the eye of the storm. [uh. yes.]

Rules were made to be broken. This is a sentiment few high school instructors or corporate supervisors are likely to share, and can earn ESTP personalities a certain reputation. [Sal, Alister, every teacher ever]

If ESTPs aren’t careful though, they may get too caught in the moment, take things too far, and run roughshod over more sensitive people, or forget to take care of their own health and safety. [Sara says WHAT? Alister and Lucerne both go :| at her until she admits it]

Zea: ISFJ “Defender”

Though sensitive, ISFJs have excellent analytical abilities; though reserved, they have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though they are generally a conservative type, ISFJs are often receptive to change and new ideas. [let’s overthrow the Capitol… so we can go back to independent family farming]

When the goal is right, ISFJs take all this support, reliability and imagination and apply it to something they believe will make a difference in people’s lives – whether fighting poverty with a global initiative or simply making a customer’s day. [or blowing up train tracks!]

Defender personalities prefer to be rewarded by seeing first-hand the positive impact of their efforts, and will remain enthusiastic simply knowing that what they do is genuinely appreciated by the people they care for. [now if they would just TELL her more often…]

Alister: ISTJ “Logistician”

Their defining characteristics of integrity, practical logic and tireless dedication to duty make ISTJs a vital core to many families, as well as organizations that uphold traditions, rules and standards, such as law offices, regulatory bodies and military. [welp. The problem comes when “integrity” and “upholding rules and standards” conflict.]

The primary goal of any ISTJ is to be effective in what they’ve chosen to do [even when that’s overthrowing the government]

While not intentionally harsh, ISTJs often hurt more sensitive types’ feelings by the simple mantra that honesty is the best policy. [luckily Sara’s feelings are not easily hurt]

Lucerne: ENFJ “Protagonist”

ENFJs take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community. [or to destroy fascist governments]

People with the ENFJ personality type are passionate altruists, sometimes even to a fault, and they are unlikely to be afraid to take the slings and arrows while standing up for the people and ideas they believe in. [look, she’s like 80 years old and living in the woods. Case closed.]

It makes a great deal more sense for ENFJs to be the force keeping vital services organized and running well, taking their long-term views, people skills and idealism, and using them to shape the situation on the ground, while more physical personality types manage the moment-to-moment crises.
You may not notice, because the POV characters don’t really, but Lucerne is the one who makes sure the campsites are set up and working, that everyone’s eating and sleeping (yes Alister even you), etc. And I think once they take D9 she gets very involved in running the District’s logistics (maybe I should write this so she can actually be a protagonist).


And she’s not really in this story but I can’t leave her out so:

Rokia: ISTP “Virtuoso”

ISTPs explore ideas through creating, troubleshooting, trial and error and first-hand experience. [poke it and see what happens!]

Often mechanics and engineers, ISTPs find no greater joy than in getting their hands dirty pulling things apart and putting them back together, just a little bit better than they were before. [mechanical therapy anyone?]

It’s not that ISTPs don’t have feelings – they actually run quite deep and strong – just that they conceal and protect them because they are unsure how to deal with them and express them. [ha ha ha oh nooooo]

Being fairly creative individuals themselves, they often enjoy discussing new ideas – but in the end, the point of sharing those ideas needs to be to take action. Dreaming is well and good, but talk is cheap, and discussions on abstract or distant subjects like Eurasian politics can only hold Virtuosos’ attention for so long before they decide to shift their focus to something they can do. [This is why Rokia and Sara get along so well]


Tumblr post (if anything looks weird try over there)
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Chapter 4: The skyline was beautiful on fire by kawuli
Chapters: 4/?
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, District 9 (Hunger Games), District 6, Normal people make the rebellion happen, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence
Series: Part 3 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Summary:

"If the step were not being taken, if the stumbling-forward ache were not alive, the bombs would not fall, the throats would not be cut. For every bomb is proof that the spirit has not died."
--The Grapes of Wrath



Chapter 4 )
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Proof that the spirit has not died - Chapter 3: Every little beaten strike by kawuli
Chapters: 3/7
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, District 9 (Hunger Games), District 6, Normal people make the rebellion happen, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence
Series: Part 3 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Chapter 3 )
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Scared and tired and barely seventeen (5587 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: OFC/OFC
Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Underage Drinking, Implied/Referenced Drug Use
Series: Part 2 of Smiles and Promises
Summary:

Sara knows it’s bad when Rokia isn’t at the shop when she gets there from school. Confirms it when Rokia comes in later, furious and breathless, Kadi on one hip and a battered duffel over her other shoulder. She barely glances at Sara, on her way up the stairs to the office where Sal’s been holed up doing paperwork. At the very least, the latest attempt to get Mata to watch the girls after school apparently isn’t working. But this feels like more than that.

What do you do when you can't fix the real problems? For Sara, it comes down to helping where she can. Even if that means breaking some laws.


D6 is not a nice place )
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The fevers that just won't break (10748 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 4/4
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Brutus (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier
Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Past Rape/Non-con, Triggers, and what happens next
Series: Part 3 of We thought we lost you (Welcome back)
Summary:

The Capitol isn't a good place for Rokia to be, and everyone knows it. When one bad night makes it even more obvious, Rokia finds out just how protective mentors can be.


another VERY lightly edited collection of things originally posted here. 

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The pieces that fell and rose from the depths (14333 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Brutus (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier
Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Mentors, Implied Past Rape/Non-Con
Series: Part 2 of We thought we lost you (Welcome back)
Summary:

This is a bad idea. Lyme’s not sure she’s up for mentoring at all, much less with a kid she doesn’t know from a district she’s only been to on Tours. What does she know about any of what this girl’s been through?

But she needs somebody, and there isn’t anybody else.

That’s what it comes down to, really. There isn’t anybody else.

Lyme's never been good at looking away from kids who need her. This time she's navigating without a map, this time the Arena's years long and barely over. But she can't not try.

--

This is basically the same as the Lyme-adopts-Rokia fic I posted here a little while back, but now it's on AO3 if that's easier for people.
 

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Proof that the spirit has not died (12483 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 2/7
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, District 9 (Hunger Games), District 6, Normal people make the rebellion happen, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, (actually not as bad as canon)
Series: Part 3 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Summary:

"If the step were not being taken, if the stumbling-forward ache were not alive, the bombs would not fall, the throats would not be cut. For every bomb is proof that the spirit has not died."
--The Grapes of Wrath

The die is cast, the spark set, the flame growing. Zea finds herself swept up in a world she never dreamed of; Sara has been dreaming of setting this fire for years. What can a few people do against the Capitol? Much more than they ever expected.


Chapter 2: Every night a world created )
sebenikela: (Default)
There’s a special kind of frustration I have around certain kinds of problems, and I think the best way I can put it is in math analogy.
(Which got very extended, surprise surprise) )
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Not gonna do it nope, that's not a headspace I need to occupy for any extended period of time thanks (of course that's also what I said about writing Johanna Mason fic and welp). BUT ANYWAY this is a thing that happened today idek have scribbles:

tw for well, jessica jones, also idk implied sexual coercion? )

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