Entries tagged with brainhacking

Crossposts: https://kawuli.livejournal.com/93009.html

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A brainwrangle

I think I've figured out (part of) why I keep avoiding new TV shows/books/other media that I would probably like, AND ALSO why I'll suddenly be unable to continue watching series I have started and enjoyed (and will instead watch/listen to dumb shit I don't like so much as just not hate)

and it's obvious while also being vaguely /head tilt? really brain?

but anyway, media-things I care about might cause me to Have Feelings

Having Feelings is exhausting

therefore I will watch a thing where the only feeling it's likely to cause is "annoyance at dumb thing" but is at least entertaining enough to keep my brain from wandering off and getting stuck in the You Are Terrible morass

(there's also the 'by the time I'm done with work I'm too low on Brain for anything more difficult than Consuming A Media while playing phone games' problem but that's a whole other Thing)

Crossposts: https://kawuli.livejournal.com/82723.html

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because of course the intersection of US drug policy and US healthcare is a garbage fire

So, on Tuesday when I tried to get my Vyvanse Rx filled at the CVS by my house, the pharmacist looked at my paper prescription, said "come back on the 13th, I can't fill it until then," and handed it back to me.

Yesterday was the 13th, I didn't go then because migraine, but I went this morning. The other pharmacist took my prescription, did stuff on the computer, said "come back tomorrow," and handed me back the paper prescription.

Tomorrow I run out of meds. And I shouldn't have to make three separate trips to drop off a prescription, for fuck's sake. Four trips if I don't sit there for half an hour waiting for them to fill it (and if they tell me tomorrow they're out, I'm going to spontaneously fucking combust (or, more likely, cry, because brains)). And the whole interaction always makes me feel like an addict for wanting to take the medication I have been prescribed by a doctor as it was prescribed.

The CVS near my work has always just taken my piece of paper, done some stuff on the computer, and said "okay, it's in the system, I can't fill it yet but you'll get a text message when it's ready for pickup" and that's that. So for one thing I don't have to keep going back with the damn paper, and for another I can take it in early so that if they don't have it in stock they can order it before I run out.

And here's the thing: the neighborhood where I live is mostly working-class people of color. The pharmacy near work is right next to the University of Maryland campus, in a much wealthier, whiter neighborhood. If the world made SENSE, they'd be much more concerned about abuse of stimulants right next to a university than they would in my neighborhood. However, the world doesn't actually make sense. So I'm pretty sure what's happening is that it's fine to make poor people waste time coming to the pharmacy over and over for no fucking reason, but rich white folks might complain. IT'S SO DUMB! Racist and classist and terrible obviously but also just INCORRECT.

And now that I've tried this twice, I've concluded that the convenience of going to the pharmacy three blocks from my house is not worth the huge pile of bullshit, and I should go to the one that's a mile and a half from work and 3 miles from home instead.

Crossposts: http://kawuli.livejournal.com/45997.html

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Things I (re?)learned about friendship this week:

1. Good friendships do not have Friend Points that must be earned and spent. There is no score.

2. You are allowed to talk about things that bug you with friends, even if they are also stressed/having trouble/whatever. They can say “I can’t talk about this now, but here is a picture of a kitten” if they are having a bad day. That does not mean you did a bad thing by bringing things up.

2.1 You are allowed to do the same thing with other people. You don’t have to earn Friend Points (see #1) by always being the one to help your friends deal with stuff.

3. Being friends is not about being small and unobtrusive enough to fit into people’s lives without them having to do anything at all. You are allowed to take up space, both brain-space and real-space.

4. Pretending you are Fine when you are only fine in the sense of “freaked-out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional” never goes well.

4.1 This includes pretending to yourself also, which is even less likely to go well.

4.2 Your friends already know you are a disaster human, and they like you anyway. You don’t have to pretend.

5. Mind reading is not a real thing. Do not expect yourself or anyone else to be able to do this. That’s why humans invented language.