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1. Good friendships do not have Friend Points that must be earned and spent. There is no score.

2. You are allowed to talk about things that bug you with friends, even if they are also stressed/having trouble/whatever. They can say “I can’t talk about this now, but here is a picture of a kitten” if they are having a bad day. That does not mean you did a bad thing by bringing things up.

2.1 You are allowed to do the same thing with other people. You don’t have to earn Friend Points (see #1) by always being the one to help your friends deal with stuff.

3. Being friends is not about being small and unobtrusive enough to fit into people’s lives without them having to do anything at all. You are allowed to take up space, both brain-space and real-space.

4. Pretending you are Fine when you are only fine in the sense of “freaked-out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional” never goes well.

4.1 This includes pretending to yourself also, which is even less likely to go well.

4.2 Your friends already know you are a disaster human, and they like you anyway. You don’t have to pretend.

5. Mind reading is not a real thing. Do not expect yourself or anyone else to be able to do this. That’s why humans invented language.


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September 2017

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