sebenikela: (Default)
I'm mo, I'm in my 30s, I'm from the US midwest but have spent more of my adult life outside the US than in it. 

I write fic as it occurs to me so this keeps things more-or-less organized. AO3 posts are better tagged, for trigger warning or other purposes, but the silliest stuff doesn't make it over there. I'm also on Tumblr and LiveJournal.

Leverage
The Breakout Job (AO3) Parker helps a friend of Josie's (remember Josie the baby car thief?) to break out of a "camp for troubled youths"

Star Wars
You do it better (AO3)
Rey on Jakku (DW)
Living is harder (AO3) Rey, post-The Force Awakens, culture shock.
Plant Assembly Procedures (AO3) Rey learns how plants work

Hunger Games
Surely these are the last days
The Rebellion from Below: A series of n+1 stories about the rebellion as told by its less-glamorous instigators (D9 and D6 focused). Stay tuned, if you're interested. (AO3 series)
Tractors turning the multiple furrows in the vacant land The beginnings
The line between hunger and anger No turning back now.

Smiles and Promises
Rokia, an OC victor from District Six (AO3 series)

Click for links (some of this is not on AO3) )

Please feel free to take this personally
Johanna (who I headcannon as winning the 66th Games, movie tie-ins aside), her friendship with Finnick (bffs, not sexy), and them getting involved in the Rebellion. On AO3 here

Ain't nothing but a family thing
Stories from District Four (Finnick/Annie) On AO3 here
Non-AO3 scribbles:
Finnick's backstory Meta.
Peeta visits District Four Postwar, prompt-fic


I also ramble periodically about my Panem headcanons. I try to tag these posts absurd logistics of Panem (because the more you think about it, the crazier this fictional dystopia really is)

On trigger warnings: I do a pretty good job (i hope!) of tagging the things that're on AO3. Stuff that's only here/LJ I tend not to tag specific trigger warnings, although for stories that I think are particularly in need of such, there are usually warnings in the intros. If you're wondering if something is going to bother you (trigger-wise or anything else-wise), please feel free to message me to ask.
sebenikela: (Default)
The fevers that just won't break (10748 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 4/4
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Brutus (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier
Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Past Rape/Non-con, Triggers, and what happens next
Series: Part 3 of We thought we lost you (Welcome back)
Summary:

The Capitol isn't a good place for Rokia to be, and everyone knows it. When one bad night makes it even more obvious, Rokia finds out just how protective mentors can be.


another VERY lightly edited collection of things originally posted here. 

sebenikela: (Default)
The pieces that fell and rose from the depths (14333 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Brutus (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier
Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Mentors, Implied Past Rape/Non-Con
Series: Part 2 of We thought we lost you (Welcome back)
Summary:

This is a bad idea. Lyme’s not sure she’s up for mentoring at all, much less with a kid she doesn’t know from a district she’s only been to on Tours. What does she know about any of what this girl’s been through?

But she needs somebody, and there isn’t anybody else.

That’s what it comes down to, really. There isn’t anybody else.

Lyme's never been good at looking away from kids who need her. This time she's navigating without a map, this time the Arena's years long and barely over. But she can't not try.

--

This is basically the same as the Lyme-adopts-Rokia fic I posted here a little while back, but now it's on AO3 if that's easier for people.
 

sebenikela: (Default)
Proof that the spirit has not died (12483 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 2/7
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, District 9 (Hunger Games), District 6, Normal people make the rebellion happen, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, (actually not as bad as canon)
Series: Part 3 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Summary:

"If the step were not being taken, if the stumbling-forward ache were not alive, the bombs would not fall, the throats would not be cut. For every bomb is proof that the spirit has not died."
--The Grapes of Wrath

The die is cast, the spark set, the flame growing. Zea finds herself swept up in a world she never dreamed of; Sara has been dreaming of setting this fire for years. What can a few people do against the Capitol? Much more than they ever expected.


Chapter 2: Every night a world created )
sebenikela: (Default)
There’s a special kind of frustration I have around certain kinds of problems, and I think the best way I can put it is in math analogy.
(Which got very extended, surprise surprise) )
sebenikela: (Default)
Not gonna do it nope, that's not a headspace I need to occupy for any extended period of time thanks (of course that's also what I said about writing Johanna Mason fic and welp). BUT ANYWAY this is a thing that happened today idek have scribbles:

tw for well, jessica jones, also idk implied sexual coercion? )
sebenikela: (Default)

Masterpost onAO3

Overall map of Panem

Map of Panem 

(and with current satellite view of North America)

Map of Panem 

Maps of District Nine (contains spoilers for chapter 1 of "proof that the spirit has not died")

Google Earth files

sebenikela: (Default)
proof that the spirit has not died (7358 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/6
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, District 9 (Hunger Games), District 6, Normal people make the rebellion happen, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, (actually not as bad as canon)
Series: Part 3 of These are truly the last days: Panem's rebellion from below
Summary:

"If the step were not being taken, if the stumbling-forward ache were not alive, the bombs would not fall, the throats would not be cut. For every bomb is proof that the spirit has not died."
--The Grapes of Wrath

The die is cast, the spark set, the flame growing. Zea finds herself swept up in a world she never dreamed of; Sara has been dreaming of setting this fire for years. What can a few people do against the Capitol? Much more than they ever expected.


all the rifles in the world won't stop them )
sebenikela: (Default)
This morning:

me: Mom, did you hear what happened last night?

mom: *looks scared* …No?

me: The healthcare repeal failed. Murkowski, Collins and McCain voted against it.

Saying someone’s face “lit up” is so cliched, but that’s totally what happened. Between the words “repeal” and “failed” she went from scared to elated, and we hugged and laughed and then she went off to meet a friend for lunch, looking happier than I’ve seen her in a long time. I’ve smiled more today than I have in the last two weeks combined.

And I know there’s a million things going wrong still and we’re gonna have to keep fighting but for today: WE WON.

And this is no small thing. I’ll get to keep Medicaid. Mom will hopefully get to keep her private insurance (and since she's disabled that is HUGE). People’s lives were on the line, with a Republican House and a Republican Senate and a Republican President and: WE WON.

We won.
sebenikela: (Default)
From tumblr again, more ramblings thanks to @honouraryweasley:

ALSO @powerfulkittyfacepanties and I were talking about Panem’s economy, and how people in the districts are paid and how the Capitol functions economically and I think the general consensus was “badly” but do you have any more specific thoughts?

Do I have more specific thoughts? hoboy. This is gonna get long.

nerdsniped )
sebenikela: (Default)
From tumblr:
@honouraryweasley asked a bunch of great stuff, but we’ll start with this part:

Maybe some stuff about her at school? I know she didn’t like it much - too many other responsibilities. Did she have any encounters with well-intentioned but ultimately meddlesome teachers? What was moving schools like when they moved to live with Sal? Dealings with bureaucracy?

answers )
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The names of our wounds (18414 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 4/4
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, (not-everyone-dies-verse), Recovery, Post-War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Past Rape/Non-con
Series: Part 1 of We thought we lost you (Welcome back)
Summary:

The war is over. The country is rebuilding. They won. But just like the Games: it's never over. Or it's not over yet, anyway.

Rokia, picking up the pieces.

--

AO3 version of the first few postwar things (Victor consolidation up to Rokia going to Lyme's for the first time), with minor proofread-type edits from what was already posted on here. Because someone on Tumblr asked me to put this stuff up, and in case anyone wants a neater version. 
sebenikela: (Default)
Start taking back what they stole (4627 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Lyme (Hunger Games), Beetee Latier, Wiress (Hunger Games), Plutarch Heavensbee, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, references to forced prostitution, canon-typical horribleness, Quarter Quell, 75th Hunger Games, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Series: Part 11 of Smiles and Promises
Summary:

Everything still feels unreal and faraway. Rokia can't make it register, all of what's about to happen, and she doesn't really think she wants to. That much… it might drown her if she tries to think about it all at once. Better to break it down, one day, one job, one moment at a time. She heads for the back of the train to watch the District disappear behind her.

Will she ever make it back? Will any of them?

Rokia, at the Third Quarter Quell.


The spark that sets the fire )
sebenikela: (Default)
It's just messy (8693 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 2/3
Fandom: Dragon Age II
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Female Hawke/Isabela
Characters: Female Hawke, Isabela (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Missing Scene, Questionable Coping Mechanisms, dead mom feelings, (is there a standard TW tag for that?), self care is killing darkspawn
Summary:

It would be tempting to claim that Isabela is always there when Hawke needs her, but we know that isn't true. It's just not entirely wrong, either.

--

This fic grew a Varric interlude, while I'm figuring out the Act 3 chapter

sebenikela: (Default)
I might just do some of these for fun, but if you are curious about anything/anyone in particular, go ahead and ask. (some answers are spoilery so I'll probably evade those, just so you know)
  1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?
  2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?
  3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?
  4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?
  5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?
  6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?
  7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?
  8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?
  9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?
  10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?
  11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?
  12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?
  13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?
  14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?
  15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?
  16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?
  17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?
  18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?
  19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?
  20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?
  21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?
  22. What does your character like in other people?
  23. What does your character dislike in other people?
  24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?
  25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?
  26. How does your character behave around children?
  27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?
  28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?
  29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?
  30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?
  31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.
  32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.
  33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?
  34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?
  35. How does your character behave around people they like?
  36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?
  37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?
  38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?
  39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?
  40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?
  41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?
  42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?
  43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?
  44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?
  45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?
sebenikela: (Default)
Lyme knows what she's getting herself into--she thinks. She's not at all sure it's a good idea, but what else is she going to do?

(14k of completely self-indulgent recovery-fic, sorrynotsorry)

Immediately follows Rokia goes to Lyme's for the first time, contains...the kinds of things you'd expect from early postwar Rokia fic.

Lyme is working very hard at this )
sebenikela: (Default)
Things that make me optimistic about new-therapist (after 2 sessions):

1. She actually uses scientific language and a relatively high level of jargon, which I like because, well, I’m a scientist even if psychology is not my field and science-language is comfortable. But also because it feels like she’s paying enough attention to realize that and not just doing the same thing for everybody.

2. She will say things like “I know this sounds weird and you might not like it, but give it a shot because there’s evidence it works” e.g. when talking about visualization stuff (also “A lot of people say ‘visualize a safe place’ but I like to call it a calm place because sometimes nowhere actually feels safe” yes good)

3. Good concrete metaphors for things, that don’t feel patronizing.

4. Was completely unimpressed by my level of education/weird global travel stuff. Did not realize how nice this would be until I was explaining like 10 years of mental-health-relevant history that occurred on four continents and she was just like “okay” and did not make it A Thing. (this sounds like a humblebrag but is not intended that way sorry)

5. Somehow (people-magic idk) makes me feel like I don’t have to be polite or pretend to know less than I do.

6. I don’t feel like I have to know what I want to do when I walk in--it’s not like she’s steamrolling me but it’s not just like “what do you want to talk about today?” and when she asked something about what was bothering me most and I went ????? she just said “okay then let’s work on distress tolerance and skills for de-escalating brainweasel attacks” (not what she said but I don’t remember the phrasing) and we did that and it was actually useful
sebenikela: (Default)
It's just messy (6577 words) by kawuli
Chapters: 1/2
Fandom: Dragon Age II
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Female Hawke/Isabela
Characters: Female Hawke, Isabela (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Missing Scene, Questionable Coping Mechanisms, dead mom feelings, self care is killing darkspawn
Summary: It would be tempting to claim that Isabela is always there when Hawke needs her, but we know that isn't true. It's just not entirely wrong, either. And sometimes taking care of a friend is hauling her out to get drunk and kill bad guys (not necessarily in that order), or convincing her to listen to her selfish desires instead of the responsible ones for once. And for all Hawke and Isabela might deny it, there's no avoiding bringing some feelings into this.

(begins after Leandra's death, canon compliant through Act 2, no promises for Act 3)

---
this is the sad chapter )
(I have not played Origins or Inquisition, so please don't spoil those for me in comments, thanks)
sebenikela: (Default)
In case you missed it, I started playing Dragon Age 2, and to the surprise of absolutely no one I have a lot of feelings about f!Hawke and Isabela. And (also to the surprise of no one) the longer thing I’m writing is full of awful, so I wanted a counterpoint.

Early Act 2-ish, after they get together but before the stuff with Leandra. And if I could write sex there would be some but I can’t so you’ll just have to use your imagination.

Isabela reluctantly has feelings )
sebenikela: (Default)
Asks about OCs, give me a name and a number and I'll tell you a thing.

1. What is their worst fear?
2. Does your OC have a temper?
3. Religious beliefs?
4. Height?
5. Weight?
6. What is something that they really regret?
7. Something they’re proud of?
8. What is something they really hate?
9. Now something they really love?
10. How does your OC react when they’re embarrassed?
11. Birthday!
12. Are they a morning person or a night owl?
13. Is there anything you would have changed about your OC?
14. If you could compare your OC to an animal what would that be?
15. Give me a description of their family
16. Are they good with technology?
17. Describe some of their hobbies!
18. Describe their sleeping habits
19. What are some of their strengths
20. What are some of their weaknesses
21. Do they have any mental disorders? (PTSD/Depression etc)
22. Do they have any physical impairments (Blind/Deaf/Loss of a limb)

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